Sunday, March 27, 2011

Hello...Only Child Here!

Hello!!!!  Only child here... no, I wasn't "spoiled" as a child because of it, contrary to all the suggestions I have received as such.  I was loved by my parents as any child should be, didn't have everything I asked for purchased and YES, I paid my way through University.  While I grew up happy and healthy I really, really wanted a sibling to love.

Over the years, when the topic of being an only child entered the conversation, I often joked that, "my parents stopped at perfection".  Truthfully, while in the womb I was warm & cozy, well fed and really didn't want to come out.  I hung on for dear life and decided to come out showing the world what I thought of it... bumb first.  Along the way my mom's doctor never made the smart decision to complete a c-section, opting to try and turn me thus scaring my mom so that she could never carry another baby to term.

Fast forward *cough* years and here I am with 2 siblings and 1 step daughter and I am having difficulty understanding their trivial fights and taunting of each other.  Do they not know how lucky they are to  have each other? Is their mission to drive me insane?  Why can't they just love each other???

Ok, I know they love each other; am reminded each time one gets injured the other worries, with each hospital visit the other one's concern shines through and when they are working towards the same end... I can see their love for each other.  They make each other strong, are each others support system, whether they would like to admit it or not...

AND THEN THEY FIGHT... over seemingly silly things.... and HELLO I'M AN ONLY CHILD.... I don't get it!  How can kids who love each other fight over little things?

I'm told it is normal, and try to find comfort in the stories given to me by my mom of the fights she and her brother had; how she wrapped up a piece of cardboard disguised as a piece of gum and gave it to him... the false tears she was proudly able to create on demand and how he would clench his fist and plead to his mom, "just once mom please".  And my husband reminds me of all the tormenting he put his sister through when they were young...all normal apparently. 

So, here is where I am at today; I am having a great deal of difficulty embracing the "it's normal" attitude.  I've never experienced sibling rivalry... I want them to realize how lucky they are and even admit it to me and each other every once in a while.  Is that too much for me to ask? I am an only child and I just don't get it!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Moments that make me proud

Where do you start with your list of moments that make you proud of your children?  I could probably list several items each day, thinking of  the simple things like when they help me clean to clearing the table and helping each other out.  And the list continues to include watching them perform in a school play or in choir... how worried I was that lines would be forgotten or voices unheard;  to all of their "firsts" and with our youngest, all the times she was brave while in the Hospital.  

But then my thoughts turn to our wedding day... I was soooo proud of each of them, two girls walking me down the isle and the eldest walking down the isle by herself holding the rings!  The eldest was very hesitant about walking down the isle on her own and was given the choice.  She went down the isle, on her own and with a beautiful smile... I remember saying my vows, looking down at our beautiful three girls... so proud and teary eyed at that moment!

Of course, more recently, they have made me extremely proud with their making bracelets for Sick Kids Hospital.  When I sit back and think how hesitant I was with this endeavour of theirs I shake my head at myself.... the excitement they feel with each site visit, with each sale.... Of course, at each family meeting it is the youngest who wants to volunteer for EVERY task
Never underestimate what small hands can accomplish!!!!

And then it dawns on me... in one form or another they have been helping others long before KKL Bracelets.  Over four years ago, our "red head" told me she was going to grow her hair so that she could have it cut off and donate it to Locks of Love. She was 8 years old at the time and I honestly thought by the time she grew it long enough she would have changed her mind.  Each month for over a year  we would straighten her hair after a bath and see if she had reached the minimum 10 inch requirement. 

Finally, in June 2008, she reached that requirement and off to the hairdressers we went.... proving me wrong again.... another moment that made me so proud!

And five years ago my husband asked the eldest what she would like for Christmas... her response was "To give poor kids toys"... that was her wish... 8 years old!  Dad took her to the store immediately and they went shopping!  She was so excited to bring her purchases to The Yellow Brick House.; An agency that rebuilds the lives of abused women and children  He was sooooo proud of her!

I have no idea how we ended up with 3 girls beautiful both on the inside and out... but I am so proud!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Really, what have I to complain about?

Sitting down, enjoying a cup of tea and some yogurt, I found myself planning the day ahead and groaning partially.  Another appointment tomorrow, an ultrasound... drink 5,000,000 gallons of water and hold your bladder 1 hour before the appointment.  Ok, I know it isn't that much water but when you have to go pee, it feels like it! 

Truth be told, I have felt like a test dummy over the past year and have been to this specialist and that specialist and am often left wondering why I even go to my GP as she just sends me on to another specialist...  Thyroid specialists, Kidney specialists, OB/Gyns....I've had more blood drawn then I care to think about, which really sucks as I have small bouncy veins... Oh, and did I mention I faint easily at the sight of blood? 

Then there are all the tests that I have endured over the past year... and I must mention my favorite test, note the sarcasm; the Renal Scan.  A renal scan is a nuclear medicine exam in which a small amount of radioactive material (radioisotope) is used to measure the function of the kidneys.  The internet suggested that following this test, each time you urinate to flush the toilet quickly to reduce the amount of exposure to radiation.  Of course, this test was done twice.  Second on the list of "favorites" was the 24hr Blood Pressure monitor with an ambulatory blood pressure monitor attached to me.  I have gone for stress tests and more ultrasounds on different areas of my body then I care to count... again, all in a year.

Which brings me back to my original complaint... here we go again tomorrow!  But do I have the right to complain?  I am sitting in my comfy chair with my family safe and sound.  I am not burying a child tomorrow, my house hasn't been washed away, the nuclear plant near me is structually sound, I have not had a loved one pulled from my grip because of a natural catastrophe, I am not going to sleep on a piece of a cardboard box and the world, as I know it, has not collapsed around me.

Am I looking forward to tomorrow, no.... but in the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Allow me to introduce myself....

Let me introduce myself, my name is Deanna and my girls are a part of KKL Bracelets  .   Let me get started by saying that I am not much of a writer and am always struggling with putting my thoughts in a cohesive manner on paper.

The girls in KKL Bracelets are part of a "Blended Family", although until recently never really thought about us in that way.  You would expect, understandably, for it to take some time for everyone to "blend" in as a family, but in our case, it didn't... it was very natural.  I am guessing that between the two of us having all girls in a similar age range, we had the perfect recipe.

My husband and I created a family. We do everything together as a family and we have since day one.  When my husband proposed, it was in front of the girls.  We would have been just as happy to get married with the girls in attendence at City Hall but, of course, they wanted nothing to do with it that way.   All three girls helped plan and were a part of the wedding ceremony with my two girls giving me away and my husband's daughter holding the rings... they ran the entire wedding day, from when to have the first dance, when to cut the cake, when to throw the bouquet.... we are close.

Our family is one that is filled with love, respect, fun, learning and sharing...from Wednesday night spaghetti nights to family trips and everything else along the way, I look forward to sharing our journey with you.